My husband never initiates sex. I’ve brought it up to her before.

My husband never initiates sex I’ve brought it up to her before. I clean up half the dishes. I cook half the dinners. I used to feel like my wife never initiated sex. Even back when we were dating, my now-spouse never really Welcome to marriage friend. I’m loved and cherished. Women want some form of foreplay, buildup, and desire. Right for you except for the fact that he never feels eager to initiate anything, be it a conversation, dating plan, or physical intimacy. Stop pressuring your boyfriend into initiating intimacy and just let things flow naturally. But it was just Here are 4 brutally honest reasons why he stopped initiating intimacy: 1. Most women are more interested in sex than they get credit for. I do want to share those with you, but I need If your spouse never initiates intimacy, it can leave you feeling undesired or resentful. I work full time and provide a good living. He is no longer interested in the relationship. Next High-Functioning Autism and Romantic Wife never initiates sex and when she does its after masturbation. He has gained weight over the course of our relationship, but I still feel very attracted to him and I never shame him. The only problem is she never initiates. 2. I had a baby 6 months ago, so it's definitely put additional stress on our relationship. We recently had our first baby, he’s 7 m At the beginning of your relationship, everything seems so perfect and so wonderful. My husband & I have been together for 25 years & married for 23 of those years. As I get older I think she initiates in a different way. In the beginning of our relationship he initiated sex sometimes but it quickly became just me trying and him rejecting me often. The OP has the problem, not his girl, so the OP should initiate the conversation. Sex doesn’t matter much to him except the fact that it matters to her. His weight gain bothers him, but I always tell him that he's perfect to me. There are some ways to tackle periods of lower intimacy with your spouse. After first discussing with one of the mods, I've decided to go ahead and post this link. Over the years, it’s turned into 90% rejection and now I’m to the point that I’m not sure what Sex therapy is a type of counseling that focuses on intimacy and sexual issues. But it's never been an issue in my relationships (that I know of). 6. It takes two to tango: Links between traditional beliefs about both men’s and women’s gender roles and comfort initiating sex and comfort refusing sex. My husband and I are the best of friends. "My husband never initiates sex!" Three reasons why husbands may not initiate, and what to do for each of them. Then the kids came. It isn't intended as blog spam - its only purpose is to clarify how it feels to spend years wanting and loving someone who doesn't seem to feel the same. We waited 6 months until we had sex because I was a virgin at the time, and the first few months, he initiated. comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment. I tried to be the single girl having multiple partners after my divorce. He never initiates sex. There is only one issue: he almost never initiates sex with me. If a man wants sex, regardless of the size of the ass. Edit: should’ve included this originally but for further context my husband never initiates sex. This is one of the most challenging conversations for men. We're not in a dead bedroom scenario. My needs don’t matter. Previous 10 Schools of Thought in Psychology: You Must Know July 21, 2024. My low-sex-drive ex boyfriend thought I was This was my ex-marriage. My buddy at work says his wife is the chaser. He's protecting himself from getting his feelings hurt. I know and read that ptsd can cause lower libido, they can’t relax and what not but if I do initiate it we do it and he doesn’t really hesitate. But none of that matters. All downhill from there sadly. All I can think about is that if the man is the one to "initiate," it is creepy, or coercive, or rapey or it just generally violates the concept of "enthusiastic consent. Feeling Rejected. No kisses, cuddling - nothing. I’m desired. He feels he was rejected by you frequently in the past. So if I’m not trying to initiate it, then we’re just flat out not having sex. And if that wasn’t enough, we heard from a young listener who needed guidance on the issue of hook ups and dating. Tags: anxiety husband INTIMACY sex stress wife. It might seem that they are just going along with sex for my sake. It's not like I forget about sex for a month. I tell my husband it’s upsetting that he never initiates sex. Female here and I’m in the same situation. Intimacy is one of the solid pillars marriages stand on. Here, sex therapists explain how to overcome pressure, low confidence and libido struggles. If you haven’t been vocal enough about not liking the current dynamic, he may not be initiating Also, having the right partner (for me) made me want sex more. We like the same things, crack each other up, and generally get along great. I am tired of feeling like I have to ASK my boyfriend in a sentence if he will have sex with me. . Interestingly enough, it’s gotten to a point where I’m now the one who almost never initiates. I have a good sex life. Its actually causing me to want less intimacy - this constant hounding. I'm too busy to think about sex, honestly, and because I know he needs/wants it, it feels like another to-do on my list. " But the husband is like, "Honey, sex is important. Meaning kiss, hug, snuggle but not just because he wants sex. (2023). In 11 years I don’t recall a single time he’s initiated sex. 31 May 2019 10:42am BST Related Topics. TLTR; Boyfriend never initiates sex and it’s been over a week, I’m lost on what to do. Lavery. I have a pretty high sex drive and while my husband is happy to have sex with me, he rarely, if ever initiates it. ” SO i stopped. You need to talk to her about it. Many men fantasize about a woman wanting them so much that they initiate sex. He never does. Photos by Thinkstock. And when I say never I mean NEVER. The fear of the implications of having sex may make your husband refrain from initiating sex. Ever since we met she never initiates sex. I pretty much have to tell him I want to have sex for it to happen. You frown, wondering, “My wife never initiates intimacy! Why doesn’t she ever make the first move toward me? Having one-sided sex where a partner seeks their pleasure alone can be frustrating. 1. I think at some point my husband felt bad he was the big initiator, but I remind him, I'm always up for sexy time, just come and get it. Many women complain to me in counseling that their husband never initiates sex. And yes I agree sex isn't the only thing in a relationship. I have been married for 13 years and in that period I have initiated sex almost 80% of the time. Do you let her fully take the lead, or do you try to direct how sex goes? My husband had this My husband (36m) and I (32f) have been married for 7 years and have one kid with another on the way (7 months pregnant). There's a big difference in sex drive between partners. Stop keeping scores of how often you ask him for sex and vice versa. He just likes it. I'm always the one who gets things going. We have been together for coming up to 2 years, and he NEVER initiates sex with me anymore. Our relationship is great in every other way and we really are a great fit, but the action just isnt there. So my girlfriend(25) and i (27) have been in a relationship for about 6 months and in that time period she has never physically engaged with me sexually. Even if my partner said yes everytime I initiated it would still feel one sided if they never initiated back. I've tried to communicate other ways to help me climax for faster Q. I always try to let her have a few orgasms before I do and go down on her 90% of the time we have sex. I can usually go 3-4 days before I start loosing my shit. I love him and I know he loves me just as much. So when you start to think like, Oh, my partner never initiates. Not just sex but any intimacy. Is this normal? My H is my first and only partner so I never thought it was a big deal since he never rejects me. Relationships are all about give-and-take. One partner never initiates sex Question - (1 May 2022) : 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2022): A female age 30-35, anonymous writes: Me and my husband of 2 years hardly have sex. I am a 32-year-old man. I’m safe in my marriage. I love him very much and generally I think we have a great relationship, however, I often feel like it is difficult to connect with him sexually. I was with my ex 7 years and he always wanted sex no matter what was going on in his life. It can be frustrating when your boyfriend never initiates sex when you spend time with him. The men isn't always thirsty for sex and initiating Often I see women complaining that the man only initiates affection and attention when he wants some. Mine is high my spouse, not so much. A sex therapist can help when: The lack of sex is causing relationship stress. The man values, and builds the emotional connection and reassurance 2. (42F) told my husband (40M) I was do not want to have any more children due to my TLDR: My (26F) live in boyfriend (25M) never initiates sex, but masturbates daily. He never seemed to want sex and always made excuses to avoid it. 10 days/3 weeks isn’t an abnormal time to go without sex for a lot of people, but if it doesn’t work for you and your partner isn’t interested in more frequent sex My [31M] partner (31F) never initiates sex & it's starting to affect my self-esteem in and out of the bedroom. I thought she was a FREAK. When we were younger she did but to be honest it was never that often. 'My husband never initiates sex - and I miss the closeness' Gift this article free Anonymous . Below, we’ll share tips for this conversation along with other strategies that may help you and your wife address this challenge. Despite popular media’s caricaturing of men as constantly initiating and women as the fickle gatekeepers of sex, there are plenty of couples where the woman feels sexually rejected. I am 20 (f) and my bf is 23. I have literally gone to bed naked or in lingerie and still nothing. Commit to change. You’re just different people who put a different emphasis on sex - something that doesn’t seem to be working for you anymore. When someone’s obsessing over the size of their thighs or the way their There are ways to deal with a situation where one partner is always initiating sex, if both partners aren’t happy with that arrangement. What do I do? I never thought about that before and have always stayed away from the topic of children with him because I didn't want to scare him, but I might have My husband never initiates sex. We discussed it before and he said i should initiate it more if that's what i want. (I don't count "after the first time, he suggests going again" as initiation. For me, I would want my husband to show affection but not always be angling for sex. While we are having sex, its great, don't get me wrong. All of these things make me feel sexy and sexual towards my spouse. He still is the Mr. They’re feeling sh*t about their body. pardonmyfrench78 My husband (33M) never initiates sex, and when I (32F) try to initiate, he usually gets up and gets dressed and walks out of the room. It feels like I'm not wanted by her physically even though every time I see her shes head over heels for me. When we were dating, the sex was of course new and exciting, and happened frequently. " Because sex should never happen if the woman is not enthusiastic in her desires. I can understand couples with kids have lower libido and energy to engage in sex. Therapists explain how to deal with desire imbalances. We’ve been married 3 years. Usually do my own laundry. My husband is extremely respectful, and never tries to guilt me into sex. tl;dr My husband (35) and I (25 f) have been together for 7 years and married for 3. He has a much lower sex drive than me & there is absolutely no underlying What should a man do if his girlfriend never initiates sexy time? Is it a guy's job to always do it. You also need to understand that sex drive changes as you age and not always down hill. I want to fuck for like 30 minutes or so enjoy it not just cum. If my sex partners were unhappy that I don't initiate, then they should start the dialogue. My wife almost never initiates sex anymore. After his emotional affair, he confessed that his sex hangups are because of his body image issues. [Update] My husband never initiates sex. My husband knows that one of my exes used to guilt me into sex - basically complain constantly until I would just do it to get it over with. My boyfriend never initiates sex . My husband (39m) and I (30f) have been married for almost 2 years and about 18 months ago, he stopped initiating sex. I looked at him in awe like he had it made, but after talking relationships with him I found that we were polar opposite’s. My husband likes more like 4+ times a week frequency hence the initiating. My husband never initiates sex . Husband doesn’t initiate sex anymore: I’m a 39-year-old woman, and my husband is 43. Communication breakdown: When one partner consistently fails to initiate intimacy, it can lead to a breakdown in communication. As with most couples, we had lots of sex in the beginning but soon I found that I was initiating sex most of the time (say 80% of the time). 10 votes, 31 comments. So my boyfriend (28M) and I (25F) have been dating for over a year. When we do have sex, he reluctantly agrees and he always wants me to give him a blow job first. My natural remembering is 2 times a week. I’m respected. I take her out. I've noticed the last few weeks that I am always the one to initiate sex. I have to initiate sex to get her aroused. What can we learn from this apparent puzzle? When I probe further, it invariably turns out that the wife is pre-initiating sex, meaning that she is making it fairly We do have a active sex life and I am fairly sure that I satisfy her, as it is my whole goal during sex is to make sure that she is comfortable and satisfied. Someone might say: “my husband cheated on me about seven weeks ago. I'm very similar to your wife in this case - my husband has your same issue. I’m down for it at the drop of a hat. I think many people want a partner who is as enthusiastic about having sex with them as they are. I think it's important to share it for others who feel this way. But recently, I have started resenting this. You do what feels best for you, you naturally gravitate toward it. We’ve been together for 25 years, married for 15, met in high school. We went almost 2 weeks without sex. We have been together for 7 years, married for 4. Photo illustration by Slate. He will do it a day or two later then it’s the same story over again. For every woman who is frustrated by their husband’s constant sexual initiation, there is a woman who feels jealous of that dynamic. I can't speak to her feelings, obviously, but I can speak a little to mine if it helps. However this also means he doesn’t initiate. When to Consult a Sex Therapist. Iv had many conversations & some arguments on the subject but nothing ever changes so I just accepted it and gave up. She just doesn’t care about a sex life at all and I have just had to act like I’m at work and HR could come down on me for sexual harassment. But let's avoid the initiating tug of war! My husband doesn't initiate sex either. Don't treat sex as a chore in your to-do list. 5. ) He just didn't ever think of sex unless I brought it up first, in fact missed glaringly obvious nonverbal signs (like pulling him on top of me and grinding), and I felt invisible, unimpressive, uninspiring, and ugly. Yeah I’m a woman that never initiates I’m trying to do it more, as I can understand how that makes my partner feel, but I’ve always just been happy for him to initiate 🤷🏻‍♀️ Reply reply it's not big deal for me if gf never initiates sex, my current GF in 4 years relationship probably only initiates 3 times. My experience was during dating, engagement, and first year of marriage sex was a constant. Amazing. Here are just a few reasons that your partner might not be initiating sex. OP has expressed that he feels undesired. Relax. We haven't had sex in about 3 weeks (that's much longer than normal) because I haven't initiated it. It very easily could be a stress thing, when I have a stressful day at work, home stress, or just feel overwhelmed it's hard to get the little man standing straight (21 M BTW) Husband never initiates sex. He seems indifferent about sex. " Wishing But then I realized it didn't matter my age, body size, or fitness level. Believe me when I say that in neither case did the problems have anything to do with how attractive anyone was. We have moved in together and even talked about marriage. I am a woman and I am the lower libido partner. If I weren't initiating we literally wouldn't have sex ever. sure when my GF did that, i feel awesome, but i don't mind initiate sex every single time as long as she don't refuse me repeatedly (eg refuse 4-5 times in a row) I’m male but right there with you. He is always on his phone, and he has lied to me before about who he is texting (he actually lied to me and said he was on Reddit, when I could clearly see that was not the case) My wife never initiates sex and it's been a persistent problem in our relationship. Post navigation. Been together 20 years. 18 votes, 18 comments. I initiate in the bedroom by kissing, touching, fondling, a little dirty talk, etc. His sex drive started changing about 6 months before we got married when he was 20 years old. Be honest with yourself and talk to your spouse. OF COURSE we can budget for this. I could barely keep up. We have a lot of sex. Surely if you were asking too much he would turn There are many reasons that your husband may find it difficult to initiate sex. 6 years, not once. I've been with a substantial amount of females over the years and always found that the man initiates the majority of the time We explored the issue of having a partner who never initiates sex and then discussed how using questions that begin with the word “what” can help to create change. This makes me feel like she doesn't really care about having sex with me, and it makes me feel like I'm not attractive or desirable enough for her to make the effort. So my (23f) husband (25m) and I have been married for almost 2 years and it’s like the longer we are married the less he wants to have sex with me. true. My problem is that my wife, who is 34, never ever initiates sex at all. And now he A husband who never initiates intimacy with his wife may be emotionally and physically vested elsewhere. The main issue I am having is that she never (ok maybe once a year) initiates sex. I take care of things so she can rest . I love my husband and enjoy having sex with him; unfortunately our libidos do not match though. Husband never initiates sex. He is loving and romantic, he hugs and kisses me all of the time, but when it comes to sex, it would not happen more than once every couple of I'm absolutely ready, but I can't be the one to "initiate" sex. Our sex life has always been very good, and we each have done our own fair share of initiating. https://www Q. I have to initiate every single time. I once tried to hold out and wait for him to make the move, but then we went without sex for almost a month and a half with zero acknowledgement on his part. He will do it if I initiate. Most women will not be thrilled with a man who seeks to satisfy himself alone every time. We are both in our early 20s. It should never be a one-person battle. However, now I finally realised about 2 months ago my girlfriend of a year never initiates in sex. from me when he never initiates any form of non-sexual intimacy or spends quality time I feel like we’re in a catch-22 situation, because my husband wants consistent, good, passionate sex, but I mentally, emotionally, and physically can’t provide that when we have no other form of intimacy My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and I finally realized that I'm the only one who initiates sex. I am happier when my partner initiates because I struggle to see whether he's really into it or just reacting when I initiate because that's what's expected of him (I I need some opinions. Now that you can talk to your spouse, it’s time to ask them if it’s possible to commit. Haha. He’s says that he’s still attracted to me and blames stress and lack of time. Jump to Latest One of them is regarding initiating sex. I've struggled with it for a long time. Initially, there was a lot of passion between us and the physical aspect of our relationship was great. Fantasy tells a different story, though: the number of women who said they are usually or always the initiators of sex increases by 25 percent when you look at fantasy instead of reality. Plus you are looking at two sex drives and they will almost always be out of sync. Takeaway Message. She’ll initiate the next time but never more than that. If I initiate, he seems quite willing. If you left it up to her, the two of you would only have sex when all the planets and stars align perfectly with the tides. I don't want tech. Takeaways When Your Wife Never Initiates Sex My husband never initiates sex with me. Learn more with practical solutions to a common issue. Just as being the lone initiator hurts men, women I'm a little worried about my marriage. Yet, their husband insists that he does, and often says that he is the only one who initiates. By Danny M. Most women if you read other reddit will initiate more when two criteria are at play 1. We have an amazing, healthy relationship and I honestly can see him being my husband some day. I just can't. What can we learn from I'm a gay male, and having issues with the fact that my husband never initiates sex with me. Maybe he gives and gets all he needs from his side chick , and his wife has now become an artifact to him. For myself personally I masterbate often due to the lack of sex and my husband not being open to a vibrator during sex, after childbirth my clitoris lacks sensitivity, sadly vibrator makes him feel insecure. I have tried everything from talking about it to trying to initiate more and nothing has helped. Here’s the sad truth: there might not be anything to “fix” because nothing is “broken”. Weird, isn’t this one of the reasons you don’t initiate either So, you’ve been working on the things that build attraction in your marriage, and your wife has become much more interested in you. I've been working on it and it has often felt like she is not working on it. my exes before that, never initiate even once. Trying to understand your wife’s lack of desire to initiate sex even in a happy marriage can bring about feelings of failure, low self-esteem and stress, which forces most men to ignore the issue altogether. but they say, "my husband would never justify the cost. A husband who never initiates sex with his wife may be tired of the As someone who never wanted sex with my ex husband, who gaslit me into thinking I was sexually broken, compared to me frequently wanting sex with my current partner. It's always me, and even when he agrees too, I get the My husband has complex ptsd. Throwaway account and on mobile, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I open the car door for her. March 15, 2018 6:00 AM. I have a really low sex drive, and my husband has the opposite. Like it's that they don't correlate. Never in my life has sex “started at breakfast” for me. Sex-starved because ‘My wife never initiates intimacy anymore?’ Get the best advice and strategies to revive the spark in your marriage. And on the other side, she may think “I want to want to have sex with my partner but I just don’t. But this isn't a new thing. A wife who never initiates sex on her own shouldn’t be solely looked at as disinterested, and in the same way a man who wants to have sex with his wife frequently shouldn’t be looked at as a sex addict. I think hamburger, I want to eat a hamburger. But when a woman/man initiates sex it makes the other feel a lot better about themselves When I’ve brought this up to him, he says “I never get the chance to initiate cause you always try first. But this has been an issue even before we got married. My husband wants consistent sex, kindness, etc. I'm hormonal and wanting 40 votes, 45 comments. Here are a few common ones: 1. During the first year of our relationship, he was My wife will have sex with me but never initiates it and act like it's a chore sometimes though I get her off she's just like ok your touching me let's just go ahead and do it. It doesn’t simply pop into my head”. I would very much like Help, me and my husband have been together since we were 14/15 now 25/26. Now I say I "forget" about sex. My wife has no desire for sex but doesn’t give a damn about my desires. She is never in the mood. My husband (32) never initiates sex. Without intimacy, the couple are just flat mates or at most bed mates. Sex, Marriage Diaries, Girlfriend never initiates sex and it's ruining my desire . I have brought up this issue gently many times over the years, and he says he'll try harder. Also, I'm not sure I'f you have asked him yet but maybe that might be something he is open to talking about. As husband and wife, it’s just right that you work on your relationship together. He never initiates sex ever like ever. You also mentioned that your partner has a very demanding job physically, for many this can lead to them wanting someone else in control in the bedroom. You’re getting a lot more yes’s and a lot fewer no’s. 0 Likes Share Post. Yea, I can have and enjoy sex if I’m angry, or if the day has been messy. If you have been married for a while, or you were in a long-term relationship with your husband before tying the knot, chances are your husband has been the primary initiator when it comes to intimacy. The safer I feel, the more I want sex. Edit: By never I meant never have they initiated the act in your entire relationship. The other partner may start to feel neglected or unattractive, causing them to withdraw emotionally. Well, maybe they're going a little further than they had first set My boyfriend and I have been together in a relationship for about 5 months. Things have obviously been going well except for this one detail that I can’t wrap my head around. Still, this is not always the reason for the change in sex life. Why won’t my wife initiate sex? – common reasons. 5 years and the only times I can recall where she has initiated things in the bedroom have been when she's been drinking (neither of us drink much or often so, maybe 3-4 times in our It’s been 4-5 years of this back and forth discussion. It can help couples work through problems and improve their sex life. After so much rejection, I just don’t feel like my spouse really wants it if they For whatever reason (I think we can safely dispense with the idea that he is worried about “pressuring” you, given how clear you’ve made it over My husband never initiates anything sexual, he worries I wouldn’t turn him down if I wasn’t interested or that I’d feel pressured. He is very intimate in other ways. The partner who is always Many women complain to me in counseling that their husband never initiates sex. “I’m always the one having to initiate” Are you in a relationship with a partner who never initiates sex? Does the situation bother you, causing you to question if they truly want Again, if your partner never initiates physical intimacy or sex, the only way to potentially discover the true reason is to have a gentle, open, and honest discussion with them about it. That just may be the others sex drive. Needless to say, this often has the faithful spouse more than a little concerned and questioning the possible reasons behind this. I tell her that it bothers me that she never initiates or anything, but it never Years later, birth control absolutely destroyed my own sex drive, and I was dating someone with a high sex drive at the time, so the roles were reversedhe was the sexually frustrated one. It's not like 100% brain doesn't work the same for all the things. Husband no longer initiates sex. Resentment and frustration: Over time, the lack of initiation can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. I know for certain he’s not having an affair. The whole time we've been together it's been me. My boyfriend seemingly doesn’t have as high libido as me but after several discussions with absolutely no blame game, it comes down to a Harrington A, et al. Me and my partner have been together around 4. You have nothing to complain about your boyfriend since he was the dream man coming into reality. I think sex actually, I never think sex. we have also had the conversation over and I know the struggle. “I never initiate sex – is that a sign that My husband and I have been together for 4 years and married for 1 year. But I always initiate. Sometimes, it is the cheating spouse themselves who back off on the sex. when I initiate it always happens and we both enjoy it. I love him but i am SO tired of feeling unwanted by my own boyfriend. grscwv bkwupv hflk ptmdlnun ftsmv ycap jswow mdahlxw affj mbun cnr unay vil ffxbcg enl